Transcription: Finally in the news, 90 year old Jansi Kornblatt was arrested last night for flashing for the 79th time. Kornblatt told the court that he was going to retire but decided to stick it out one more year. Excuse me. We've just received an emergency report that a serious meltdown has occurred at the SimCity Nuclear Power Plant. The plant may reach critical mass at any moment and explode. Above all, do not panic. Repeat, do not panic. Stay calm. Even though radiation may sear our flesh and turn us all into slithering slices of human spam, everything will be just peachy! DO NOT CANIT!
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